December 1, 2024

My Worst Christmas Eve Ever, and How It Led To a Publishing Deal 

Christmas is a time of wonder, magic, and in some cases, dream-crushing devastation. On Christmas Eve a few years ago my husband and I were frantically assembling bikes,  wrapping gifts, and cursing our children for using all the Scotch tape.  It was at this special moment that the email I'd waited months for appeared in my inbox. 

I’d finally finished my first novel and I’d sent my shiny new manuscript to a professional editor and book marketer for feedback. I won’t tell you how much I paid this person, because it is an embarrassing sum I don’t wish to remember. But her reviews were good and she was a friend of a friend and I wanted to get my book to someone in the industry who knew things and was an expert. 

Anticipation zipped up my spine as I opened her email. And then turned to heartbreak as I read her words. My book was a disaster. I was a terrible writer. And also a bad human. 

Looking back, this experience puzzles me because everyone I have worked with since has provided valuable feedback with professionalism and respect, while this editor included several cheap shots and personal attacks.  

I cried. A lot. I’d put so much stock in her being an expert, (A real editor! Who knows the market!) I concluded that if she thought my writing was garbage, I should give up on the dream I’d held onto for decades. 

Thankfully, after several days of wallowing, and eating candy from my stocking, I realized an important thing: I don’t need someone else’s permission or approval to chase my dreams. It is not for a stranger to decide what I should or shouldn’t pursue.  

I regrouped. I made a plan. I joined a special program for writers and took every single course offered. I woke up an hour earlier than my husband and kiddos and wrote every morning. I worked relentlessly to make my manuscript as great as I knew it could be. Until it was good enough to land a literary agent, and good enough to get a publishing deal. 

As sad (and puzzling) as this Christmas Eve experience was, I’m grateful for it. It changed the trajectory of my writing journey. When I reasserted ownership of my dream, I hustled for it. I worked harder and learned more than I had in the years leading up to that moment. And it paid off. It’s still paying off.

While there is value in learning from experts, their knowledge of their craft does not qualify them to decide what you should do with your life. If your passion is baking, or figure skating, or Scottish folk dancing- go for it!  

In the words of the effortlessly cool Mae West: “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Keep turning pages,

Libby